Unrequited Love
by RivaMikaDailyDose
Summary: Another Okikagu for you guys! Sougo finally sees Kagura again after 5 long years... What is he feeling?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. Sorachi Sensei does.**

* * *

"Master... you're acting very different today."

"Shut up, who said you can talk?" Sougo grabbed the girls hair and pulled her closer to his face. He glared down at her and smiled, showing his clear sadistic intentions. The girl shivered in pleasure and bowed her head apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I won't speak out in front of you ever again."

"You're bad Yuya... I wonder what your father would say if he saw this side of you." He chuckled and grabbed a strand of her hair, kissing it gently.

"It's... master's fault for being this way to me." She replied back, lost in her masochistic pleasure as he pushed her to the side away from him.

"Why don't you ever kiss me... or the other girls? I mean, we do enjoy your cold, hateful side but you never kissed any of us before."

Sougo looked outside the window which faced the full moon. It glowed purely and shined through the room intensively as he stood there with his chest exposed to the outside beyond the small, squared window. He stared at it deeply in thought and chuckled at that simple question which always seemed to be asked.

"Simple. I'm not that kind of man who shows love or affection. Girls are mere toys to play with. In fact, I really hate them all." He turned his head and glared with his cold, sharp maroon eyes. Yuya stepped back in fear and felt a chill go down her spine. For some reason, the hateful attitude gave her more pleasure as she dropped to her knees and looked back up at the man with seductive eyes.

"What? You still want to play? You're so dirty it disgusts me." He stared down at her with his usual monotonous tone. He didn't understand why he wasted his time with these type of girls but it killed his time when he wasn't on duty at the Shinsemgumi. He really was a sadist at heart and it pleased him quite deeply to see people's pain. Especially when it involved useless girls who only enjoyed spending money and being used.

* * *

Sougo pulled on his yukata and placed his long, golden hair back into his regular pony tail. His stomach growled as he realized that he hasn't eaten anything since the night before. '_I guess it's time for me to eat, it's already the afternoon'_

"Yuya I'm leaving already, I'll be back next week. Later." He waved his hand in the air and casually walked out of the cheap hotel. He then continued his way down the street to find a ramen shop to eat at, when he heard a familiar voice that he recognized 5 years ago. He stopped in his stead and turned his head in disbelief when he noticed her long, orange hair.

"Do you have any pickled seaweed mister?" Kagura's voice chimed happily as she stood in front of a street vendor. She couldn't remember the last time since she's been able to enjoy the sour taste of her beloved picked seaweed. It's practically been 5 years since she left the planet to travel with her pappy around the universe.

"My my, China girl... I see your disgusting appetite never changes." Sougo appeared from behind as she was about to take a bite out of the sukonbu that she purchased. Kagura hesitated and turned around to face the sadist straight in the eyes and smiled when she realized who it was.

His eyes widened as she turned around to face him with an unusual bright smile which somehow pierced straight through him. For some reason, it felt like he approached someone else since her appearances were much more... like a woman instead._ Was this really China girl? If so, what the hell happened to the rude, tomboy that he used to pick on all the time? There's no way..._

"Oi Sougo, you sure look different but your usual sadistic attitude hasn't change." She mumbled chewing on the sukonbu and pointed her finger at his face.

He stared at the completely matured China girl in shock. This tomboy that he always teased grew a few inches taller and was further developed in her breasts and waist. He felt a sharp pain surface in his chest by just looking at her. '_What the hell was that just now...'_ He thought, confused of this odd feeling pounding him from inside.

Kagura stepped closer and leaned in to his face to stare at him in curiosity. He felt his face becoming hot as she stood a few inches away from his face.

"Get your ugly face away from me." Sougo finally replied, using his hand to push her further away from him. He couldn't come into conclusion why he was feeling this way towards her. _Was it disgust? It had to be because there was no way it would be anything else. Just the thought of him being 'attracted' to this alien girl made him want to puke._

"What's wrong with you idiot, I was just wondering why you were acting all timid around me. Does my beauty affect you that much?" She grinned playfully and stuck out her tongue at the uneasy sadist whom she hated for all these years. He was the only guy that she could never beat and it always displeased her when she never got a satisfying win from their previous contests. She really hated him to the point where being near him made her sick.

"As if stupid, the day when you actually become attractive is the day when Edo destroys itself." Sougo snapped back at her sarcastic statement and crossed his arms to regain his natural, sadistic attitude.

"Well Edo is on the brink of destruction then, if that's the case. Anyways, I don't have time to carry out a conversation because I need to say my last goodbyes to everyone." Kagura scratched her head and smiled gently, though her eyes projected a glimpse of sadness.

"Last goodbye..? What are you talking about China?"

"Ah... Well, I'm leaving Earth for good and never coming back. I'm actually going to be engaged to someone and I won't have the time to travel to Earth again. It's a long story but I have no choice since pappy asked me to do it."

"Engaged..." Sougo's voice trailed off as he began feeling that sharp, uneasy pain in his chest again. It felt as if someone was jamming a nail straight into his heart.

"Well sadist, I've always hated you and I never understood the point of our fights but somehow, you managed to find a place in my life just like everyone else so... Thank you for always ruining my time here on Earth and good bye." Kagura smiled at him and began to walk in the opposite direction with her purple umbrella plopped on the side of her shoulders. _'Yes.. That's how it's always been.. You were always a few steps ahead of me, as if you were shining a path for me to follow. And like a fool, I somehow managed to follow that path just to be pulled back inside the darkness again'_

_Idiot.. Don't smile and just walk away..._

Sougo chuckled as he realized rain drops were beginning to make their way to the ground from the dark, cloudy sky. "Leave? Like hell if I care." He clenched his fist and began to walk with no path or direction to follow. His feet just moved aimlessly in the rain until he could stop in front of the one place where he could rid of his useless stress. He entered the cheap hotel and made his way straight back into the lion's den where he belonged.

"Master.. why are you here again?" Yuya stared at the dripping wet man in confusion.

"Shut up and just come here." He grabbed her wrist roughly and pushed her onto the bed that they had used the previous night.

"You're being more urgent... What's wrong?"

"Shut up. Don't ask me useless questions when we're doing this." He snapped back with his sharp, monotonous voice. He left kisses on her neck and tore off her clothes, yet an image kept reappearing on his mind as he continued to pleasure her. An image of the one thing he wish he never wanted to see again, though his mind was full of endless images of her. They fluttered back and forth until he hit his limit. He stopped and stood up frustrated when he began to feel that uneasy feeling in his heart again. He stood over to where the window was again to only find raindrops and a dark cloudy sky with no moon to gaze at.

"Is it...another woman perhaps?" Yuya sat back up and grabbed the blanket to wrap herself in, to maintain her body heat from the cool air.

"She's an idiot with a nasty appetite, her brain is somewhat damaged, her face is plain and ugly, she hangs around little kids to shelter herself from being lonely, she takes her abnormal dog to the park for usual walks, she always challenges me to useless fights, and she's horrible at saying goodbye... Yet why does my heart hurt over this idiot." He mumbled under his breath in confusion and punched the wall in the process of explaining.

Yuya stared at the frustrated man and giggled to herself, "doesn't that just mean... You're in love?"

"Nonsense. Who would love her? Only a masochist would be able to." He retorted back in denial and thought about the word that she had mentioned.

"Your mind is telling you no yet your heart is telling you something else master... From the way you mention her, it seems that she's not the type that you would do these sorts of things, that you do to all of us. Perhaps it's because she's someone you hold dear in your heart and you haven't realized it yet so you project her into someone that you hate. Maybe she feels the same way?"

"There's no way she would feel th-" He closed his mouth before continuing his sentence. He knew if he hadn't stopped, then he would be admitting to what Yuya was mentioning before. The thought of 'being in love' was unimaginable.. Especially if it's with that alien girl. '_I only know how to hurt people and soil them dry until they have no soul left... when did I begin to feel this way?'_

* * *

(_**Flashback**_)

"What are you sitting here for?" China girl appeared, blocking the sun rays from hitting his face.

"Why are you here?" Sougo asked with a displeased look on his face and continued to suck on his grape-flavored chuubert.

"I'm always here on Mondays to walk Sadaharu." She glared at him and flicked his forehead in irritation.

"That dog fits your image...abnormal and strange." He jabbed her on the side and stood up to leave. He didn't understand how he managed to find his way to the park again, it was always a waste of time.

"See you next Monday then sadist." She stuck her tongue out and ran off with the huge, alien dog chasing her close behind.

'_So she noticed huh...'_

* * *

(Back to present)

'_Ah, that's right. He always managed to go to the park every Monday without realizing why it became a part of his routine. Every Monday she appeared without delay with that huge dog and walked around the park just for the entertainment of kids running up to her in excitement over how big her dog was... Just for that, he would always come and sit there to watch, as if she was a tv show that he would always rush over to go see. To him, China girl was like a sanctuary in which she could never be soiled by the likes of him. He never thought of doing things to her because his hands were already dirty with shame. He couldn't touch that bright, pure girl who always lightened his path when it was too dark for him to see. He could accept her marrying another man if it meant she could smile, he could accept never talking to her again if it meant she would be happy, but he couldn't accept her just leaving the planet and never returning again. His only sanctuary that he had lost grasp of 5 years ago. She's the one person he could not lose even if his feelings could not come across.'_

"Heh... I think Edo is on the brink of destruction Yuya." He sighed heavily as he finally made up his mind.

"Why do you say that master?"

"I'm about to go into battle.. One that won't be a guaranteed win for me."

_An 'unrequited love' they would say on this planet... That was fine with him because his feelings for her would always be sealed away. He could never come close to her or dare to touch her because he would taint her pure soul if he did...the only thing he could do was stop her from leaving again. He would do whatever it took to make her stay even if it meant hating him more than she already does, even if it meant never speaking to her again...he would do it because he knew he loved her. He loved that abnormal, strange alien girl. 'Am I really a sadist or masochist...'_

(to be continued...)

**Sorry, this one was a little rushed because it was early in the morning and I was tired haha leave me a review and let me know your opinion and if I should continue it. Thanks for reading everybody!**


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